Singleness is not a sin

To date or not to date? by Julia

Where do you draw the line on if it’s okay date or not to date? To be set up or not to be set up on a date? I personally don’t think it’s wrong per say to have single friends gather and if there is a spark, then “go, God!,” but if not, so be it. Too many singles dwell and pursue meaningless relationships because they are lonely. They aren’t in it for the long haul. I think too many people want to “fix it” or “help out” instead of giving the reigns to God. It’s a trust issue in many cases. Ask yourself “do I trust God?”, “would I be okay if God chose for me to be single till my dying day?”, “would I compromise if I found a guy or gal that didn’t measure up, but fulfilled my loneliness right now?”

Relationships can take our full, undivided attention off of God. When a person is single, they are able to fully focus 100 percent on God. There is no checking in with your husband, wife or boyfriend or girlfriend when you are single. The Bible even says that it is better to be single. So why do we want to force it? I think loneliness is a battle that needs to be conquered in order to be content with the portion that God has blessed us with. We don’t deserve anything, so when God does bless us with our husband or wife, we can be 100 percent sure it is a gift from God and we will appreciate that person even more.

I was single for 3 years before I met Luke. I wasn’t looking for a husband, but I was praying to God that in his timing He would bring that man to me if that was his will. God is faithful because He knew that was an honest desire I held in my heart. I did however learn the hard way…I caved about a year before I met Luke. I went out with this guy that I knew was my complete opposite. He was the aggressive/assertive type, was conceded and opinionated and with all that said, somehow I thought that he would treat me with respect. Plus, he used to lead a bible study & went to church from time to time, so how bad could he be? I guess sometimes there is some truth when people say opposites attract. Keep in mind that I had previously promised God that I would wait for the man he deemed worthy of me, but I chose to go on this date anyways.

How stupid was I. I can’t even go into all the details, but pretty much I was assaulted, I was verbally abused, he asks me to iron his shirt and he manipulated situations so that we found ourselves alone during our date so that he could try to make the moves on me…yeah, not so godly. I was confused and abused. I know this is an extreme example, but it really showed me that God is in control and His will, will be fulfilled, not my story that I was trying to put into place.

It reminds me of Jonah…I was the prophet that decided that I didn’t want to follow God anymore. I wanted to try it my way and I drowned because of it. God didn’t leave my side by any means, but there were consequences to my actions. I got slapped on the butt & I corrected my mistake quickly.

John Piper has an excellent sermon entitled, “Single in Christ: A Name Better Than Sons and Daughters.” Here are his main truths:

1. That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;
2. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case);
3. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
4. That faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

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